I set this page up without really knowing what would go on it. Since then, I've decided to devote it to some handy Klingon words and phrases and, further down the page, downloads!. So, without further adeiu...


here're a few phrases/words you may find helpful in your travels.
Qapla' this means "success", but it is also used as "goodbye" or "farewell". Many people spell this wrong. This is the correct spelling.
nuqneH "What do you want?" (As close to "hello" as you're going to come in klingon)
qajatlh "I speak to you." (This is not a greeting but can be used to start a conversation)
qamuSHa' "I un-hate (love) you"
pIqaD The name for the Klingon alphabet.
jachchoHmeH 'Iwraj penaghtaH Mate until your blood screams
choSuvchugh 'oy'lIj daghur neH This could go with the previous..."struggling only makes it hurt more"
qoslIj yitiv Happy Birthday!
todwI'ma' qoS yItTvqu' Merry Christmas!
DuSaQ vumghachwIj Sopta' targhwIj My targ ate my homework!
tlhIngan Hol dajatlh'a' Do you speak Klingon?
bIjatlh 'e' yImev Shut up! (One person)
Sujatlh 'e' yImev Shut up! (Plural)
Heghlu'meh QaQ jajvam Today is a good day to die.
nuqDaq 'oH puchpa''e' Where's the bathroom?


Of course, no respectable Klingon would ever leave home without a sizable list of insults!
Qa'Hom "Rodent"
Hab SoSlI' Quch Your mother had a smooth forehead! (An insult not to be taken lightly!)
yIHmey SurghwI' Tribble skinner!
HItlhejQo'neS Take a hike! (Please, sir.)
verengan Ha'dIbaH Ferengi dog!
yIntagh This is a curse that i like to use in place of "jeez".. or sometimes "shit!"
nuchpu' Cowards!
bIbe' targh You are a female Targ.


Here're just a few other random words that you may find handy...
baghneQ! Hands down one of my favorite words, "spoon!"
be'jay' Ritualized torture by a woman.
nga'chuq This is the translation i'm asked for most frequently by non-klingon speakers... "sex"
DIvI' Hol Federation language (English.)
maSwov Moonlight (for those nocturnal klingons.)
tera'ngan Terran (earther, human.)


MP3s

  • Klenginem
    This is a cover of an Eminem rap done in Klingon. It's something that just has to be heard.

  • Klingon on Frasier
    There was an episode of Frasier in which Frasier, thinking Klingon was actually Hebrew, gave a speech in Klingon at his son's bar mitzvah.

  • Klingon Anthem
    I'm not sure whether this should be a matter of pride or a matter of "something I should never mention outside of cons", but I have had this sucker memorized for years. I'll probably even sing it for you if you ask.

  • Aktuh and Melota
    A love song from a Klingon opera.

  • Klingon Drinking Song
    I dare a Terran to sing this while intoxicated!

  • Rojqoq
    Klingon pop music?

  • "Rap of Khan" by Warp Factor (MC Ka'Pla & 7 of 9 Inches)
    Buried alive, buried alive, buried alive on Ceti Alpha V! (For more Warp Factor, click here.)

  • "Star Trekkin'" by The Firm
    Boldly going forward because we can't find reverse!

  • "Posatronic Pimp" by futuristic sex robotz
    The positronic pimp, built by noonien soong, call him up, he won't go limp, or finish too soon... (For more futuristic sex robotz, click here.)

  • William Shatner's Romeo & Juliette
    Damnit Juliette, I'm a Montague not a Capulet!

  • Star Trek Bohemian Rhapsody by Weird Al
    That's too damn slow!

  • TNG Answering Machine
    This is my voicemail message.

  • Spock's Answering Machine
    Here's another answering machine recording.

  • Spock and Kirk are Lovers
    Audio clips spliced together from various Star Trek episodes. Umm, the title probably speaks for itself.



    • Not MP3s



  • Warp Drive Calculator (10.7kb .zip)
    Fun albeit useless program that will calculate warp speeds in meters per second.

  • Star Date (281 kb .zip)
    This program may actually be of some use if you want to make your blog particularaly nerdy... it tells you today's stardate.

  • Klingon Klock (129kb .zip)
    A mostly pointless program that speaks the time to you in Klingon. It's kind of cool.

  • mu' HaqwI' (115kb .zip)
    mu' HaqwI'(Word Surgeon) is pretty useful translator & analyzer for the Klingon Language. I use it all the time. There's also an online version, which can be found here.

  • Star Trek Fonts (571kb .zip)
    Here are most of the common Star Trek fonts, including many Klingon ones but not the one that I made.

  • Star Trek Cursors (373kb .zip)
    My collection of Star trek animated cursors. 200 total.

  • Star Trek Icons (408kb .zip)
    Likewise Star Trek Icons. 590 total.
    		•  Warp Drive Calculator

    mu' HaqwI'